


It Takes Longer When You Mean It

by EllyCM



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare, Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Feels, Fluff, M/M, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 04:54:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,189
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6597571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EllyCM/pseuds/EllyCM
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec's head is full of thoughts that he has trouble saying out loud, and Magnus gives him the space to figure it out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It Takes Longer When You Mean It

**Author's Note:**

> This is completely derivative, I know. Nothing that others haven't explored a hundred times, and better. It was just something I kept seeing in my head and so wanted to put it in words, for me if for no other reason.

     Alec drifted awake slowly, like the waves of the tide coming in. He became aware of a reddish glow against his eyelids, and knew it must be awfully late if the sun was streaming into Magnus’ bedroom. Alec felt, for a moment, a pinch of anxiety about sleeping in. He probably had a dozen things he could be doing- should have been doing since dawn. Training, reports, checking the weapons, patrols. What if Izzy or Jace needed him for something?

     He only held the feeling for a moment, and then let it roll away. He was here, with Magnus, and not everything was Alec’s responsibility. He told himself this, repeating the words in his head, until he could almost believe them, and then opened his eyes.

     There was indeed a fall of golden sunlight spilling from the parted drapes over the wall of windows. Today they were maroon satin. Alec wasn’t entirely certain they’d even been there last night. He’d been too distracted to notice the windows.

     Alec stretched his long limbs, pleasantly sore here and there, and turned his head to find Magnus propped up on his elbow, a small smile on his face. The black sheet- the only covering still left on the bed- had fallen down to his hips, and Alec thought that the glow from the sunlight made Magnus look like a gilded painting in one of the illuminated texts he’d studied. Beautiful.

     Alec didn’t say that, though. He didn’t say anything, because Magnus was still looking at him. Alec flicked his eyes down his own body- covered in scars and Marks and bruises- and then back to Magnus.

     Alec’s mouth started to form a word, and paused there a moment, as if he was unsure if he was going to speak. Finally he continued. “Why are you looking at me?”

     Magnus’ smile spread, his cat eyes softening. “Because you are beautiful.”

     Alec just stared back. _Beautiful._ The exact word he’d just thought looking at Magnus. Magnus who’s smooth skin was bathed in the warm light, who’s mouth was finely shaped and curved into a smile that made Alec weak all over. Magnus who’s dark hair was a mess in just the right way, and who’s long fingers were both delicate and strong and brought Alec to pieces when they touched him. Magnus was beautiful, no doubt.

     Alec felt himself flush. He knew Magnus would roll his eyes or shake his head, patiently, if Alec tried to dissemble. He knew Magnus didn’t say things he didn’t mean, and Alec was getting better at trying to see himself the way Magnus saw him.

     “I don’t know what to say to that,” Alec managed to get out. He did know. He wanted to tell Magnus everything he’d just thought while gazing at him. But somewhere between his brain and his mouth- maybe somewhere around the fluttery feeling in his chest- the words got stuck. He bit his lip, rather harder than he meant to.

     Magnus laughed, a honeyed sound in the warm nest of the bedroom. He turned into Alec, so that he was on his stomach, their faces almost touching. “It was an observation. No reply necessary,” he said, and cocked his head, watching as Alec released his lip, the soft skin there slightly red where Alec had held it between his teeth. Magnus leaned in. “A kiss, maybe, though.”

     Magnus kissed him in a soft, unhurried way, running his tongue over Alec’s abused lower lip. Alec felt Magnus smile against his mouth, and then Magnus pulled back.

     “You haven’t asked me once what time it is,” Magnus said, sounding genuinely surprised.

     Alec closed his eyes a moment, and then looked up at the ceiling. “Would you be mad if I told you it was my first thought?” he said, glancing over at Magnus, who laughed.

     “I’ll have to work on some things, if that is your first thought upon waking up after a night in my bed. I clearly could do better.”

     Alec made some noise of dissension and reached his hand out, curling it around the back of Magnus’ neck and leading him closer so he could kiss him again. This time Alec held him, his fingers feeling the warmth of Magnus’ skin beneath his, and let the kiss deepen and lengthen. Magnus moved closer until he was half on top of Alec, Magnus pushing his leg between Alec’s. Alec tugged at the sheet, which was twisting up as they moved, and yanked it completely off of them, with some prejudice. Alec slid his hands over Magnus’ shoulder blades, down the strong lines of his back to his hips, and over the curve of his ass.

     Magnus breathed against Alec’s mouth, his eyes fluttering closed as their bodies pressed together, waking up. Magnus brought a hand to Alec’s face, and let one finger dip into Alec’s mouth, warm and wet. “Alexander,” Magnus breathed.

     Alec curled his tongue around Magnus’ finger, and then laughed. Magnus smiled and pressed his forehead to Alec’s. This was something recent, this comfort between them. That Alec wasn’t always worried about what he was doing or not doing or should be doing. That he could laugh during moments like this, and Magnus would laugh right along with him, and then keep kissing the shit out of him. Alec felt, finally, safe here. Like this, with a man he loved.

     Alec stopped when the thought hit him, his hands pausing from where he’d grasped Magnus’ hip to pull him harder against him. Magnus felt the stillness, and pulled his head back just enough to focus on Alec’s face. Their breath filled the space between them.

     “Are you okay?” Magnus said, in that soft voice again.

     Alec opened his mouth, and his head was spinning but this time the words fought their way through. “I love you,” he said.

     Magnus watched Alec’s face for a long moment, watched Alec’s eyes searching his own, felt Alec’s fingers tremble a little where they touched him. Magnus felt a flip in his stomach, in a way that he hadn’t felt in ages. He smiled down at Alec.

     “I love you,” he said. Simple but immensely complicated words. But Magnus didn’t say things he didn’t mean.

     Alec smiled, and his hands and his body and his lips started moving again, drawing Magnus in until the shaft of sunlight falling through the window had moved several feet. Afterwards, Magnus sat leaning up against the headboard, naked and disheveled. Alec sat leaning against one of the posters at the other end of the bed, just watching.

     Magnus laughed lightly. “Wondering what time it is again?”

     Alec smiled and shook his head. “No.”

     “What, then?”

     Alec would do it this time. He’d proven he could push through all of _that_ , and things would be okay.

     He didn’t even pause this time. “I was just thinking about how beautiful you are.”

     Magnus held his gaze, and as always, seemed to understand what those words had meant, beyond the syllables and spaces.

     “Thank you, Alexander,” Magnus said. “For all of it.”

     And Alec knew Magnus never said anything he didn’t mean.


End file.
